Hey there Ago
Congratulations on your insights, and on getting your life back on track. My childhood was somewhat like yours, except without the father to hang out with. Your straightening up and doing the righteous thing for the community shows the kind of man you _really_ are, and not the one created by the drugs.
Sounds to me like you hit your "bottom" in drug addiction some time ago, and that you are now going thru the "bottom" of a co-dependent.
That feeling that you describe from watching two other people live _your_ life is called "a moment of clarity". It's the reason why there is a "12th step". It's why it's so important for me to spend time with newcomers and listen to _their_ story. It helps me see _my_ story from a different perspective. I've had my "doors blown off" several times in the last few years.
A little overwhelming, kind of like realizing that I just passed a sign on a foggy freeway that said "Road Closed, Bridge Out". I better turn my life around, and fast, or I'm going to end up like the guy I just 12-stepped.
Welcome to your new life, Ago
Now that you know where you _were_ heading, you can join the rest of us on our road to a new life that is truly "happy, joyous and free"
Mike