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WOW. Well I would never "choose sides" in anyone's family issue. You are all adults and can choose to behave as you wish - including your friends who had a choice to say yes or no to helping your parents move - so it's OK whichever they chose.
-- I can only Stop my own enabling behavior - I cannot stop anyone else's. I am finding that out first hand now as my mom has become a major enabler of one of my alcoholic brothers. She has given him a soft landing, free room and board, and is pretending he is not still drinking under her roof, and letting him drive her car...ugh the list goes on and on... my mom actually said to me when I expressed concern over her enabling my brother "I lived through this with your father - I know what I'm doing!" I don't even know WHAT to do with that statement! It's like she's getting her Masters in Codependency now?
It is very hard to detach and set boundaries and you seem to have done so with a lot of thoughtfulness and clarity. Keep the focus on yourself healthylimits - and Mom tortoise - keep the focus on yourself....
I hope you will all find your own paths to healing whatever direction those paths take you!! Although this situation seems explosive and sad - it may just be the change everyone has needed to break their denial and see things fresh. The past is gone. You are free in this moment!
Good luck & peace-
B.
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