[Tazman53]

How do I find it?
How do I do it?

I don't know where to start.

Man do I remember feeling and thinking just like that!!!

I am very thankful that I was granted the Gift Of Desperation by my HP. I was desperate enough to admit I needed help and I asked a man who had worked the steps himself to help me by being my sponsor.

What he did was he took me to the book that contains the directions for what you seek, he took me through the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous!

Starting at the very first page and going through page 164 of the BB he took me to where it says in the BB I needed to go.

The first line of the Forward to the First Edition of the Book tells us exactly the purpose of the Book.

We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book

The first line of Chapter 5 says a lot also:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

In the Chapter "There Is A Solution" it says:

You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking What do I have to do?"

It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self- searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at out feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.

The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences* which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.
If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort.

This is simply a small part of what the BB contains, what you seek is contained in the steps and the BB thru page 164.

This is from Chapter 5:

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.

The program is simple, but it is not easy. If you want what we have, do as we have done.

I had to drop all prejudices and preconcieved ideas I had and have an open mind and a willingness to do what it took.