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Hi tortoise--
Jeeeez - tough situation.
I learned in AlAnon that I have to accept people the way they are. That people will do what they will do and all I can do is choose how that will affect me - I can't make anyone do anything differently. Whether that person is an alcoholic or not - if they are an adult they have the right to their beliefs and their choices.
Maybe your husbands drinking was bothering your son more than he realized and he finally reached a limit of tolerance and decided he just didn't want to enable it any longer by giving him a place to live.
It is very sad when families cannot get along but it is very common. There are probably some long standing dynamics in your family, especially if you come from an alcoholic father yourself and you are married to a very heavy drinker - or former heavy drinker.
I found AlAnon to be a great starting point for learning about these dynamics. Can you try AlAnon?
Peace & (((hugs))) during this hard time--
B.
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