| Completely powerless
I am dealing with surrendering all the bs in my life constantly every day. This is completely new to me. The stuff that I am dealing with on a clean and sober basis is alot of bs. I have disfunctional all around me, I don't want any part of it and it brings me to a low that I am not used to dealing with sober. I choose to be sober and make my life work the right way. I didn't know it would be this hard. I am making steps so slowly and have to keep reminding myself that this is God's will not mine. I am struggling on a daily basis and am feeling like my back is gonna break if I don't take my next step soon. The fear and self destructive ways that i have lived by have got to go. I am completely giving myself to God and my recovery. That's the only way I see things moving forward. The fear I have is so intense. I see it. It's like so huge. I have been praying non stop for like a week, and I don't plan on stopping cause I am so afraid of what will happen.
|