Welcome to SR and the MH forum!
I hope you will seek professional help. There is no need to suffer. And while no one here is a doctor, we can only share our own ESH, (experience, strength and hope.) There are many here who have experienced situations similar to yours. My own depression and anxiety led to isolation and problems until I sought professional help. And I'm much happier now as a result.
Others will be here to share their own ESH soon.
I look forward to getting to know you as we both grow in our own recovery.
Shalom!