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When I read your post I found much I could relate to. You are definately not alone in how you are feeling. I realize that you have reservations about speaking with a professional but I would encourage you to do so. My experience has been that until I sought professional help for my feelings I never really seemed to find anything more than a temporary relief that usually left me feeling worse than I did before. My drinking got way out of hand to the point of alcoholism before I finally stopped trying to change how I felt by drinking. Today my life is much better, I take medication for my mental health issues as well as therapy. I rarely find I experience the social anxiety that I did prior to seeking professional help.
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NOTE: All Big Book quotes are from the First Edition of the Big Book 
WHY DOGS LIVES ARE SO MUCH SHORTER THAN HUMANS:
People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice.
Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long
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