LucyA

I’ve a feeling this is going to be a long one, so I’ll apologise in advance for that.

I mentioned on another thread that today I was going to al anon for the first time.

It took all day because it was out of town and I had to use the bus.

I didn’t know really what to expect, I’ve read about different experiences on SR in the past, some good, some bad.

When we got there (my mum came with me) we were shown into what looked like someones living room by the side of a church., and there were just two people in there. I wasn’t expecting that at all, I wanted more people and I got nervous and almost just turned round and left there and then. Four people seemed a bit too intimate for me to start with. Five minutes to go and two others turned up, someone offered us coffee and the next I knew the meeting was starting.

I could tell from my mums body language she wasn’t comfortable with it at all, but on the way there we’d talked and said if either of us wanted to leave we’d just leave and wait for the other outside, she stayed anyway.

We weren’t pressed into talking, or made to feel like we should talk, and I got the impression the shares were especially for us as newcomers, that’s how it felt anyway, not like someone just speaking to a room of people, someone was talking to me, and I could hear them, really hear what they were saying.

There were two people there who were also AA members, and I really appreciated their shares, I sometimes feel a need to hear both sides to try to understand where I am. One guy made a point of saying it was a waste to try and help him when he was in active addiction, and I’ve heard similar on SR, but to hear him say it himself made a difference to me somehow. To actually hear the vocabulary used here, in ‘real life’ made a difference too.

I chatted with the rest of the group after the meeting and they said they usually have a few more people there, but that doesn’t bother me now. I think I was lucky to find a place I feel comfortable in the first time I went, I might try some others, but I’m definitely going back next week, work permitting.

My mum? She didn’t get it at all, although she said it was interesting to hear the guy who was also in AA speak. She wants to know how to help my brother and al anon aren’t going to help her do that. In an odd kind of way I’m happy she won’t be going back, I don’t feel I could have been myself with my mum right by my side.

I wish I’d gone months ago.