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On many of my multiple day benders, I would end up at some of the most dangerous bars, in the worst part of the city, drinking with extremely violent people (strangers).
Before I would take that first drink (usually in a safe place), I would think:
"I hope I have fun before I black out."
"I hope I don't get hurt when I black out."
"I hope I wake up in a safe place."
I did wake up a few times bruised and bloodied and in some scary locations but I kept on drinking.
I once asked my sister what she thought when I disappeared for a few days, drinking. She told me that she wondered if I was dead.
My sickness, the insanity just blows me away. Thank God for AA and those other alcoholics who are taking care of me.
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