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shutterbug · 10-06-2008, 02:05 AM

well, that was such a massive rant! I haven't ranted like that in a while. LOL

It also bothers me that she looks down on me. She feels that since she has a big, nice house, full of expensive things; and kids and a slave of an ex-husband; and a nice car and job (which she hates and often misses so much of that mom and I have wondered how she couldn't be getting into trouble for all the absenses).....that somehow she thinks she's sooooo much better than me.

i know i shouldn't let it bother me, but that's why my occationally trying to help with my nephews bothers her so bad to the point of her getting angry at me. I'm so much less in her mind that how could 'I' possibly know something she isn't already aware of....or how could 'I' possibly have a simple solution to a problem she hasn't been able to resolve. In her mind, I can't and therefore it's a GIANT put down to her.

Ugh!

It's the reason she rushed so quickly into marriage and started invetro within months of the wedding. (which, the invetro, is also probably why she ended up with twins). And it's also the reason she was so furious with me for graduating college on the same day as her. It took me 6.5 years to finish...and it only took her 4, and therefore, if she gotten to graduate even a day before me then, in her mind, she had beaten me and therefore proved further that she was better than me.

She even yelled at me about the whole 'graduating on the same day' saying why should she have to suffer when she finished in the typical 4 years and it took me an extra 2.5 years. I pointed out to her the difference in our colleges and how much harder a state college was (as I'd attended a private college while still in high school, and then another my freshman year and a couple classes from another later b/c i wasn't able to pass one of the classes at my state college). She never believed that of course.

I couldn't help but giggle last month when one of her best friends made a wise crack, out of the blue, about how easy the college is that she went to. Needless to say, my sister hasn't invited me along to hang out with the two of them together since (even tho they've gone out several times since).

My sister views me as a failure for it having took me 6.5 years to get my bachelor's degree. But being the first generation in our family to even attend college, and mostly my just pushing to graduate at all (dispite my first major depressive episode in the middle and all the other struggles i faced then)....I view it as one of my greatest successes.

I literally graduated against all odds. And if my sister could have had her way....i think she would have never wanted me to graduate at all.

-----------
Anyway, i like what Tena has said lately that, "living well is the best revenge."

It was kinda nice when i had this last job b/c i had a good job that also allowed me to do fun and exciting things that most people don't EVER get to do. And i was even getting regular concert tickets to photograph all the major concerts that came to our town's giant casino (luckily, i wasn't gambling then). But, the PR guy always left me 2 tickets so i could bring someone with me. That usually meant my sis.

So....it meant that she couldn't realistically look down her nose at me as being a low-life, failure. But now, now she has reason......i'm once again an unemployed mental case living in a shack owned by family, and still having no man who wants to be with me.

okay, enough of the sister rant.

10-06-2008, 02:05 AM	#27 (permalink)
shutterbug A picture's worth a 1000 words Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder Posts: 2,947 Blog Entries: 5	well, that was such a massive rant! I haven't ranted like that in a while. LOL It also bothers me that she looks down on me. She feels that since she has a big, nice house, full of expensive things; and kids and a slave of an ex-husband; and a nice car and job (which she hates and often misses so much of that mom and I have wondered how she couldn't be getting into trouble for all the absenses).....that somehow she thinks she's sooooo much better than me. i know i shouldn't let it bother me, but that's why my occationally trying to help with my nephews bothers her so bad to the point of her getting angry at me. I'm so much less in her mind that how could 'I' possibly know something she isn't already aware of....or how could 'I' possibly have a simple solution to a problem she hasn't been able to resolve. In her mind, I can't and therefore it's a GIANT put down to her. Ugh! It's the reason she rushed so quickly into marriage and started invetro within months of the wedding. (which, the invetro, is also probably why she ended up with twins). And it's also the reason she was so furious with me for graduating college on the same day as her. It took me 6.5 years to finish...and it only took her 4, and therefore, if she gotten to graduate even a day before me then, in her mind, she had beaten me and therefore proved further that she was better than me. She even yelled at me about the whole 'graduating on the same day' saying why should she have to suffer when she finished in the typical 4 years and it took me an extra 2.5 years. I pointed out to her the difference in our colleges and how much harder a state college was (as I'd attended a private college while still in high school, and then another my freshman year and a couple classes from another later b/c i wasn't able to pass one of the classes at my state college). She never believed that of course. I couldn't help but giggle last month when one of her best friends made a wise crack, out of the blue, about how easy the college is that she went to. Needless to say, my sister hasn't invited me along to hang out with the two of them together since (even tho they've gone out several times since). My sister views me as a failure for it having took me 6.5 years to get my bachelor's degree. But being the first generation in our family to even attend college, and mostly my just pushing to graduate at all (dispite my first major depressive episode in the middle and all the other struggles i faced then)....I view it as one of my greatest successes. I literally graduated against all odds. And if my sister could have had her way....i think she would have never wanted me to graduate at all. ----------- Anyway, i like what Tena has said lately that, "living well is the best revenge." It was kinda nice when i had this last job b/c i had a good job that also allowed me to do fun and exciting things that most people don't EVER get to do. And i was even getting regular concert tickets to photograph all the major concerts that came to our town's giant casino (luckily, i wasn't gambling then). But, the PR guy always left me 2 tickets so i could bring someone with me. That usually meant my sis. So....it meant that she couldn't realistically look down her nose at me as being a low-life, failure. But now, now she has reason......i'm once again an unemployed mental case living in a shack owned by family, and still having no man who wants to be with me. okay, enough of the sister rant. __________________ I'M FINE!! Fanatically Insecure Neuratic & Emotional Bipolar/Depression support: 1-800-950-NAMI(6264).