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Thanks2HP · 10-05-2008, 06:38 PM

I've been going through some very rough times these past 3 weeks. I went off my anti depression medicine in June and started back again. No, didn't check with sponsor or doctor. I had some sort of reaction which included extreme anxiety attacks. It has been 13 years, 11 months since taking a drink but I realized that I had not been working a good program. I hadn't worked the steps since I first got sober. I had lapsed back into old behaviour of which I am not proud of and created more wreckage in my life. I prayed to Jesus and God the Father on a daily and nightly basis but wasn't feeling a conscience contact. No wonder since I was in so much sin! Now I'm really having mental issues. As far as the meds go my doctor took me off the one because of the adverse reaction and put me on another one. It hasn't been a long enough time to know if the new one will help with the depression. I've been obsessing over it being End Times... that Mystery Babylon is the United States and that we as a nation are being punished because we have fallen away from God. It seems to be all about the money in this land. I'm guilty too. I've bought way more "stuff" than I actually need. I feel like I've been snared by the deceiver.
I've asked for forgiveness and for just little faith and relief from the pain and fear I'm feeling that things are really about to get bad in the USA. I've also beaten myself up for being so blind to what was happening..... and for being caught off guard. I also beat myself up for being so selfish. I know I've had it really good for a long time while people in this country but more so in others have it far worse than I ever had.

It's difficult for me right now because I am at Step 1 again even though I haven't drank and am struggling very hard with it.

Any suggestions or thoughts on my craziness?

10-05-2008, 06:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
Thanks2HP Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Hotel California Posts: 175	Some are sicker than others I've been going through some very rough times these past 3 weeks. I went off my anti depression medicine in June and started back again. No, didn't check with sponsor or doctor. I had some sort of reaction which included extreme anxiety attacks. It has been 13 years, 11 months since taking a drink but I realized that I had not been working a good program. I hadn't worked the steps since I first got sober. I had lapsed back into old behaviour of which I am not proud of and created more wreckage in my life. I prayed to Jesus and God the Father on a daily and nightly basis but wasn't feeling a conscience contact. No wonder since I was in so much sin! Now I'm really having mental issues. As far as the meds go my doctor took me off the one because of the adverse reaction and put me on another one. It hasn't been a long enough time to know if the new one will help with the depression. I've been obsessing over it being End Times... that Mystery Babylon is the United States and that we as a nation are being punished because we have fallen away from God. It seems to be all about the money in this land. I'm guilty too. I've bought way more "stuff" than I actually need. I feel like I've been snared by the deceiver. I've asked for forgiveness and for just little faith and relief from the pain and fear I'm feeling that things are really about to get bad in the USA. I've also beaten myself up for being so blind to what was happening..... and for being caught off guard. I also beat myself up for being so selfish. I know I've had it really good for a long time while people in this country but more so in others have it far worse than I ever had. It's difficult for me right now because I am at Step 1 again even though I haven't drank and am struggling very hard with it. Any suggestions or thoughts on my craziness?