Thanks everyone. That's exactly what I needed for confirmation that I am doing the right thing by digging my heels in and saying NO bailout! I admit as a naive mom, I started this pattern with him a long time ago, including paying for lawyers. It was a never ending cycle. Somewhere along the way, I developed some backbone, and started letting him fall.
It was weird him nagging me trying to weedle me into bailing out the girlfriend, telling me that he knew how she felt. I told him no body put a gun to YOUR HEAD to force you to do the things that you KNEW was gonna land you in jail. You enjoy pain or something?? So, I tell him, you have more than enough of your own problems to worry about with the consequences of your addictions and now you want to take on her problems and ME to pay for her screw ups and irresponsibility and take on both of you? I'm not bailing out either one of you if you mess up again. SO FORGET IT! I'm telling him pain goes with rebellion, so keep it up if your enjoying it but don't ask me to subsidize your mess ups. That's why God made some gentle rules that were for your own protection, and not that hard to follow. If you want to do it your way, not God's, then prepare to pay the price. Simple easy.
I'm telling you ladies, this business of making their problems our problems is not going to wash.
Roz, thanks for your particular situational input. How old are they? Way old enough to know better! Both of them. Your response was another confirmation that I don't have to take on the guilt trip he's trying to put on me. God bless all of ya, and yea, I think I might just go get the manicure and go shopping, and be nice to myself for a change. No more sleepless nights.
