[Anna]

About Fibromyalgia.

I was diagnosed eight years ago with fibromyalgia, after years of trying to find a dr who could figure out why I was in so much pain all the time. Once I was diagnosed, I began taking amitriptyline which worked well for me. I also changed my lifestyle as much as possible. I started lifting weights to strengthen my back, neck and shoulders which were where most of my problems were. And, I started doing yoga regularly. Within six months I felt so much better and since then the pain has been manageable. During stressful times the pain would increase, but I would pay attention and take a break and look after myself. I think I lulled myself into thinking that the disease was under control and I was fine.

About six months ago, I began intense job-hunting, interviewing and eventually starting a new job. Other things were going on in my life (issues with kids/family) and my fibro has returned with a vengeance. The back,neck and shoulder pain have returned with a great intensity. My stomach and digestion are giving me all kinds of problems. I wake up at night with awful leg cramps and sleep is something that just doesn't happen. If I had a nickel for every time I said I was tired...I've been relying on Advil which makes the pain more manageable, briefly. I alternate between thinking that I am taking too much Advil and thinking what about the quality of my life? Isn't that worth something. I am frustrated that I have to compromise. I do so many healthy things and then I am stuck with this.
I hate feeling unwell because it triggers the feeling of being out of control. I had control issues long before I began drinking. I realize that being controlling is fear-based and I have worked really hard on letting go. I'm frustrated that those feelings are resurfacing now. I do have a drs appointment in November and I will talk to her about the fibro, but I know there is really little to do.