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flutter · 10-04-2008, 09:05 AM

Hi all..
So this evening I found a meeting near me, at the perfect time/location, for beginners. I had a month under my belt, and blew it this past week. I thought I could go to the store and not buy liquor... I thought I could buy it, and not drink out of control... I thought I could drink out of control and that no one would notice. Wrong, of course. WTF... darn alcoholic brain! I gotta get that part in control, because I KNOW I can live without alcohol. I want to, I think I just need some focus, and none of this "I can do everything on my own" BS.

I know I can't do this on my own. I do have an issue with the Higher Power part of AA, but for now, it's the only meeting I can find today. I believe that because it is for beginners, there will be a lot of opportunities for questions, or just a room full of supportive people, and basically, it will be a much better place to be at 7pm on a Saturday night than at home, alone.

I'm scared.. I'm scared I'll know someone.. I'm scared to talk right now.. I'm scared there will be no one there (right!?).. I'm scared to show my face.

Wasn't sure if this was the best place to post, so I'm posting in both 12 Step Support, and Newcomers to Recovery.

Thank you for reading.

10-04-2008, 09:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
flutter Living sober since 12/08 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 2,217	First Meeting Hi all.. So this evening I found a meeting near me, at the perfect time/location, for beginners. I had a month under my belt, and blew it this past week. I thought I could go to the store and not buy liquor... I thought I could buy it, and not drink out of control... I thought I could drink out of control and that no one would notice. Wrong, of course. WTF... darn alcoholic brain! I gotta get that part in control, because I KNOW I can live without alcohol. I want to, I think I just need some focus, and none of this "I can do everything on my own" BS. I know I can't do this on my own. I do have an issue with the Higher Power part of AA, but for now, it's the only meeting I can find today. I believe that because it is for beginners, there will be a lot of opportunities for questions, or just a room full of supportive people, and basically, it will be a much better place to be at 7pm on a Saturday night than at home, alone. I'm scared.. I'm scared I'll know someone.. I'm scared to talk right now.. I'm scared there will be no one there (right!?).. I'm scared to show my face. Wasn't sure if this was the best place to post, so I'm posting in both 12 Step Support, and Newcomers to Recovery. Thank you for reading.