[queenteree]

When I put my AH out at the end of June, if he called I would not pick up the phone. I deleted his voicemails before even listening to them (why bother, right?), If I happened to pick up the phone, he'd cry in the phone asking if he could please come home (he was sleeping in his truck). I'd simply reply "call me when you're ready to get help" and hang up the phone. No discussion, no reiterating what "I" would like him to do, what "he should do", no nothing. Just "call me when you're ready to get help". If he called back, I didn't pick up the phone. In the beginning of July, he called and said he felt like he was dying, wanted help and would I see him. I agreed, only if I could take him to the hospital. He agreed, I did, he actually was on the verge of death, was in the hospital almost 2 weeks, from there went to rehab and is working on his recovery. But thru even all of that, even rehab, I did not go visit him or be there for him. He needs to do it on his own and for him.
To me, trying to engage in a meaningful conversation with an active A is fruitless. IMO, say what you mean, mean what you say and then end the conversation. Take what you like and leave the rest.