until the drugs etc ... I never EVER doubted his love for me ... it was the most secure I'd EVER felt in a relationship so it really knocked the wind out of me when he started acting so unlike the person I thought he was. I don't even know this person ... I see glimpses from time to time ... the only times I ever saw who he really was were times when he was home for a few days ... but it got to the point where he wanted to be wherever I was NOT ...
I miss him so ...