this story is all too familiar to many of us.
we stick with them thru ...thick and thin..
better or worse...(this of course is not reciprocated !).
and then ..when we dont enable, or rescue or support or adapt..or appease..the A and the disease...they become increasingly angry, resentful and find faults with us..for taking care of ourselves and setting healthy boundaries.
A's and their disease dont like us getting healthier, stronger, assertive and taking care of ourselves because if we do..it means denying them..and they are not first!
.as i got healthier...problems became increasingly apparent on his end
because i then expected of him...held him accountable..and that was not what he had in mind for our "relationship" lol
mutuality with an A...does not exist..
its either their way or the highway..and i got the highway..as did many here..
after many months of shock , disbelief and hurt on my part..i now am detached enough to see it was all about him...always was...and i just didnt fit the bill or
jump when his majesty cracked his whip!
lol
loving an A was a thankless and exhausting job..
with mostly getting complaints in return from the unpleasable A.
now im resting up..taking care of me..and pleasing me..
off the rollercoaster..and boy..its taking me years to recover in every aspect..
physically , mentally and emotionally.
As for the next "victim"..i say God bless her..
nobody will make that man happy for long..
in retrospect..im surprised and even amazed , he and i lasted as long as we did.!!
A's dont like when we wise up, get smart, try to find some balance in the relationship...not just us giving and them taking..
them demanding and us being thankful for the crumb they throw us now and then..
they complain..and we try so hard to please the unpleasable.
he did me a favor....when he left..i got me and MY LIFE back again..