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Originally Posted by Azreal  That being said, I'm a relatively healthy person, 31 years old, 195 lbs, 6'1" tall, good job, first kiddo is 9 months old, have a nice home in a nice town and just a great life all around. So why do I focus so much on the drink? Why do I get these giddy little sensations when I'm on my way home from work and I know I can kick back with a bottle of wine and watch my favorite show on TV? It's a sickness, I know. It's a mental obsession. I've felt that I can live a good life while still enjoying alcohol, not in excess though. But of course everyone's opinion of excess is different and clearly my wife feels I'm all ready there. |
Amazing. Talk about deja vu. This describes me perfectly 13 years ago, newly married at the time and my son had just been born. I'm a few inchers shorter and at the time I weighed a little less, but it's uncanny how this paragraph describes my drinking habits and lifestyle at the time.
But alcoholism is a progressive illness, my experience was that it wasn't fun and good for very long, after awhile it became incredibly destructive and hurtful to those around me.
If you read my posts you'll find out that as my children grew they suffered "accidents" at my hands while I was drinking. I had a great life and what I thought was a great marriage. The marriage has been over for a few years. I've got a great life as the result of 3 1/2 years of recovery in AA. I had a nice home in a nice part of time. My ex threw me out of that home. I live in a small home in a not-so-great neighborhood, but I'm thankful for the roof over my head. Most of all I'm grateful that I at least have joint custody of our children, but the honest truth is that I'd much rather be with them 24/7. I gave that option away every time I picked up a drink.
13 years ago my drinking was definitely excessive, and I was brushing it off when my spouse told me so.
Trust me when I tell you that it got a lot worse.