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One of my major incentives to get off the alcohol and drugs in the first place, wasn't that I might die, or go back to jail, it was the loss of the ability to function mentally, most of my life was involved with problem solving, and trouble shooting problems, which BTW almost killed me anyway, trying to apply those living skills to recovery, but that is for another forum. Mentally what I am going through trying to deal with this debilitating depression, Is not only not having the ability to concentrate, and comprehend a written page, or a web page, it is not being able to use the God given ability to be creative, to take an abstract thought, that I was somehow able to receive through inspiration, and apply it to the creation of something physical, I lost this connection due to the duel depression and or the medications I tried, and are still using, I am trying to connect again through prayer, since meditation is totally impossible. I never saw this coming.
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