[Paulos]

Hi all, I'm Paul... you all know me probably -.- from my various posts of pity and fear of the past... being on medications, not being on them, etc etc... I've just been so down about my memory/organization skills lately... 95 days off booze is something I know but it's just for the past few weeks I've been like so down on myself because I feel retarded that so many people can remember things but I can't... like if I read something off a piece of paper especially when pressured or when I start thinking about too many times or a schedule I freak out when I realize I can't do it... even right now I'm shaking about it... I'm autistic by the way all... people say I have too much free time but even when I'm doing things I am haunted by this feeling so it's not that!