It is interesting, for lack of a better word, to deal with one--alcoholic/sociopath/psychopath--the lines get muddied. In my case it's the chicken/egg scenario.
I believe that my AH always had the sociopathic vibe brewing somewhere in him. Perhaps at the time I thought it was a "cute" neediness and dependence on me. Perhaps I thought I was so wonderful and all-encompassing, I was all he needed and I could fill the void others could not (I won! I won!).
But stripped away from all definition and labels, I realized, just recently in fact, that a man who can say wretched things about and to a person he supposedly loves and walk over the aforementioned person as she is sobbing like an idiot and cause all this crazymaking and stress--well what did I win? And in realizing this, I realize that I'd rather be the proverbial old woman with the crazy hair in the housecoat with a housefull of cats--than "win" this prize I was once so proud of.