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Old 09-13-2008, 06:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
Paulos
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 786
Blog Entries: 4
Post Errr hi again all...

How's it going all... 90 days of sobriety but I think I'm going through Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, man I want these stressful feelings/symptoms to go away... I'm so scared... always crying... always OCDing... here all, a piece from my Journal I just wrote in case anyone cares...

"8:28am feeling like I don't know what I do... do I have amnesia or something? God I
feel so confused about the own things I do and ever did! I feel so BLASTED mentally and retarded >:O... I'm very afraid right now as usual!
90 days sober without any booze... that is something to be proud of but it's just... it's just I'm always timing to the next time I get washed,
the next time I have to deal with something stressful, the time when I last got washed/went to bed... just always OCDing. At least I got a
"little" better last night when at 12am I did my Brainiversity, talked to mom about things, cried some of my feelings out, made a folder of
lists to show the doctor and played some Pogo :|. So INSECURE feeling as well. Feeling disappointed in myself for not being able or feeling
up to Runeing with Blue and Hears... I've felt this feeling before regarding responsibility to my guildies, I miss my towel holder in my
bathroom... used to lean my head on it as I strugged to ****... but that was rather unhygenic... due to my head grease and all. It's not fair,
letting things OUT you know such as writing them out even doesn't make me feel better anymore! WHY AM I FEELING SO SHOT?!?"

Man... is life only about feeling insecure about everything?
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