hopingicanhelp

my boyfriend is addicted to crack, we've been through it all. i know a lot of you have had the same experiences. does anyone have any tips for one to help me cope, stay strong, and how to help him. the first step has been achieved he does want help, he wants to be sober, and do good...and i honestly believe him. he's 26, and has been battling drug addiction since he was like 15, his mother used when he was growing up, she's better now, but he grew up around it and with a mother that neglected him, cheated on his father, beat him, and showed him an awful image of life, and the way it is supposed to be lived. he doesn't know happiness, what it is, or that it can happen to him. he doesn't believe that i love him most of the time, he thinks that i cheat on him almost all of the time unless i'm with him, and he does good w/o using for about 3 or 4 weeks and then bam on friday which is payday of course and he gets that money he can't control it. i work most fridays, okay almost all fridays, i'm a manager in fast food so i can't really get off that day to babysit him or anything. all the other fridays he brings me his money, i keep it in my savings and give it to him as needed, he knows he can't have money, he craves it more when he has it, but that program works only if he can stay strong enough long enough to bring me his money while i'm at work. on fridays i know if i can't get in touch with him by like 6 then i know whats happening, i start feeling sick to my stomach with fear, i'm overcome with a helpless feeling that i know what is happening but i can't do anything about it, i can't leave work, i can't even get him to answer the phone or call me back. he always admits to it, he never lies about it...so i guess thats better than him hiding it and making up lies about where his money went, but still...he's still addicted to crack. it puts a very big strain on our relationship, i feel like if he loved me he wouldn't do it although now that i'm researching it and getting a better understanding i know its a very powerful addiction..and it really has nothing to do with me...but its hard. if you have any advice it is welcome.

thanks,

alli