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lizw · 08-28-2008, 02:16 PM

This was sent to me by a friend in Australia.
The Reviver is an Australian magazine (as I understand) like Grapevine.

A GOOD CHAIRPERSON MAKES A GOOD MEETING,
But what makes a good chairperson?

Ever been to a meeting chaired by some Roy Slaven type who likes to relate his own experience at length after each speaker? Or the Jerry Springer type who likes to follow up each share with a smart little aphorism? How about that closed-shop meeting run by a group that takes turns to chair and call each other, week after week?

And while we’re on that, can you remember the last time you went to that Thursday lunchtime slumber party and didn’t hear from Chopping Block Charlie (63 years) and Beryl from Berrigan (51 years)? Week after week you turn up and sit there wondering if you’re invisible as you listen to the same stuff from the same people, over and over.

Working up a good head of resentment there? The Reviver undertook a small survey of members, old and new, male and female. We asked what annoys them and what impresses them in the way meetings are chaired. They were invited to bitch, grumble and enthuse to their hearts content and to come up with suggestions. We also told them we needed their response back in a couple of days.

It must be a pretty contentious issue, this. Thirty per cent of email respondents replied in a few minutes!

Based on their responses, we’ve managed to come up with a few suggestions about how not to fall into such traps when you’re next in the chair.

THE PROBLEMS:

Some pretty amazing stories came in. But you won’t be finding those out here – principles not personalities and all that. Sorry.

What did emerge was a series of common sources of annoyance. Here are the things that most irritated respondents about the way meetings are chaired, in no particular order of priority.

•Starting and/or finishing late.
•Kicking off the meeting by generously calling oneself to share.
•Passing comment after each speaker. Not just negative comment – any comment.
•Calling the same faces – particularly old mates and group members – every week.
•Obvious skewing on the basis of gender, age, length of sobriety, length of skirt, etc.
•Calling people whose primary identification is known to be other than alcohol (incidental mention is one thing; lengthy drugalogues, etc are quite another)
•Disrespecting speakers by rolling eyes, feigning sleep, grimacing, sneering, etc.

Two issues stood out as particular bones of contention. Respondents were unanimous in their irritation at chair people who kick off the meeting with their own story, and those in the habit of passing comment after each speaker.

Subtle body language can be useful in encouraging speakers to close. If they’re talking into resentment time, don’t be afraid to ask them politely to wind up. It’s all a matter of discretion and commonsense on the day.

Sometimes meetings just don’t gel. If you’ve chaired such a meeting, it’s not the end of the world. Remember, others may not share your own perceptions, and may well have derived considerable benefit from what to you was a tedious share. Furthermore, if you’ve done your best (and kept your own role to the minimum necessary) then there’s no more you can do.

Oh, and as one respondent pointed out, if they do drink and come to the meeting, remember that the First Tradition has precedence over the Third Tradition. A rowdy drunk who is interrupting the meeting has to go. Not, however, by being shamed from the chair – although the chair should politely ask the persistent rowdy interrupter to either listen to the speakers or leave the meeting. Generally a moment’s eye contact with an experienced member is all it takes to see them ushered out the back for a private chat or a ride home,

And here’s one final one. If you’ve ever been in the chair and found yourself looking out at someone you’ve been contemplating hunting down and killing, call them up to speak. You’ll feel a whole lot better about them – and yourself – in an instant.

THE SOLUTIONS:
Here’s what our respondents suggested.

•Start on time, and finish on time.
•Start the meeting with a strong speaker – other than yourself.
•Finish the meeting with a strong speaker – other than yourself.
•Listen to each speaker and show it by looking interested
•Don’t try to attract attention away from the speaker.
•Lose the inter-speaker commentary
•Try to remember people’s names (but don’t only call the names you remember…)
•Look over last week’s speaker list to see who’s been called recently and who hasn’t.
•Take a risk – scan the room for new or seldom seen members and call them up.
•Try to strike a balance of OSM and newcomer, group member and visitor, male and female (it’s easier than it sounds)
•Ask people to share their time – but resist the temptation to do so after a longwinded speaker (a subtle way of shaming people)
•At topic meetings, give occasional reminders of the topic.
•When inviting members with less than 90 days to identify, do so in a manner that offers them encouragement and comfort.
•As you open the Big Book to read How it Works, don’t encourage people out the door with quips about smoke breaks, loo breaks and tea breaks.
•Finish up with an upbeat reading – eg. The Promises on pages 83/84 of the Big Book.
•When reading How it Works, read it from the Big Book – it’s an important pointer to newcomers looking for the source of all this new information.

From the NSW Reviver. July 2003.

08-28-2008, 02:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
lizw God's Kid Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,561	What makes a good chairperson? This was sent to me by a friend in Australia. The Reviver is an Australian magazine (as I understand) like Grapevine. A GOOD CHAIRPERSON MAKES A GOOD MEETING, But what makes a good chairperson? Ever been to a meeting chaired by some Roy Slaven type who likes to relate his own experience at length after each speaker? Or the Jerry Springer type who likes to follow up each share with a smart little aphorism? How about that closed-shop meeting run by a group that takes turns to chair and call each other, week after week? And while we’re on that, can you remember the last time you went to that Thursday lunchtime slumber party and didn’t hear from Chopping Block Charlie (63 years) and Beryl from Berrigan (51 years)? Week after week you turn up and sit there wondering if you’re invisible as you listen to the same stuff from the same people, over and over. Working up a good head of resentment there? The Reviver undertook a small survey of members, old and new, male and female. We asked what annoys them and what impresses them in the way meetings are chaired. They were invited to bitch, grumble and enthuse to their hearts content and to come up with suggestions. We also told them we needed their response back in a couple of days. It must be a pretty contentious issue, this. Thirty per cent of email respondents replied in a few minutes! Based on their responses, we’ve managed to come up with a few suggestions about how not to fall into such traps when you’re next in the chair. THE PROBLEMS: Some pretty amazing stories came in. But you won’t be finding those out here – principles not personalities and all that. Sorry. What did emerge was a series of common sources of annoyance. Here are the things that most irritated respondents about the way meetings are chaired, in no particular order of priority. •Starting and/or finishing late. •Kicking off the meeting by generously calling oneself to share. •Passing comment after each speaker. Not just negative comment – any comment. •Calling the same faces – particularly old mates and group members – every week. •Obvious skewing on the basis of gender, age, length of sobriety, length of skirt, etc. •Calling people whose primary identification is known to be other than alcohol (incidental mention is one thing; lengthy drugalogues, etc are quite another) •Disrespecting speakers by rolling eyes, feigning sleep, grimacing, sneering, etc. Two issues stood out as particular bones of contention. Respondents were unanimous in their irritation at chair people who kick off the meeting with their own story, and those in the habit of passing comment after each speaker. Subtle body language can be useful in encouraging speakers to close. If they’re talking into resentment time, don’t be afraid to ask them politely to wind up. It’s all a matter of discretion and commonsense on the day. Sometimes meetings just don’t gel. If you’ve chaired such a meeting, it’s not the end of the world. Remember, others may not share your own perceptions, and may well have derived considerable benefit from what to you was a tedious share. Furthermore, if you’ve done your best (and kept your own role to the minimum necessary) then there’s no more you can do. Oh, and as one respondent pointed out, if they do drink and come to the meeting, remember that the First Tradition has precedence over the Third Tradition. A rowdy drunk who is interrupting the meeting has to go. Not, however, by being shamed from the chair – although the chair should politely ask the persistent rowdy interrupter to either listen to the speakers or leave the meeting. Generally a moment’s eye contact with an experienced member is all it takes to see them ushered out the back for a private chat or a ride home, And here’s one final one. If you’ve ever been in the chair and found yourself looking out at someone you’ve been contemplating hunting down and killing, call them up to speak. You’ll feel a whole lot better about them – and yourself – in an instant. THE SOLUTIONS: Here’s what our respondents suggested. •Start on time, and finish on time. •Start the meeting with a strong speaker – other than yourself. •Finish the meeting with a strong speaker – other than yourself. •Listen to each speaker and show it by looking interested •Don’t try to attract attention away from the speaker. •Lose the inter-speaker commentary •Try to remember people’s names (but don’t only call the names you remember…) •Look over last week’s speaker list to see who’s been called recently and who hasn’t. •Take a risk – scan the room for new or seldom seen members and call them up. •Try to strike a balance of OSM and newcomer, group member and visitor, male and female (it’s easier than it sounds) •Ask people to share their time – but resist the temptation to do so after a longwinded speaker (a subtle way of shaming people) •At topic meetings, give occasional reminders of the topic. •When inviting members with less than 90 days to identify, do so in a manner that offers them encouragement and comfort. •As you open the Big Book to read How it Works, don’t encourage people out the door with quips about smoke breaks, loo breaks and tea breaks. •Finish up with an upbeat reading – eg. The Promises on pages 83/84 of the Big Book. •When reading How it Works, read it from the Big Book – it’s an important pointer to newcomers looking for the source of all this new information. From the NSW Reviver. July 2003. __________________ ....blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.