I've been trying at this as well. I'm not so sure it's working for me or that I'm going about it in the right way. I've been ok at detaching.. it's the with love part that I struggle with. The more detached I get them more I realize that I'm just not in love with him any more. Maybe it's codie, but if I have to remain uncaring to things that are going on in my significant others life, then that's not love. Maybe I have the definition screwed up but I would think it's natural for two people in a relationship to spend sometime wondering and caring about the others well being.
I've quit trying to figure it out, I've quit thinking that maybe it will change. I've gotten better about not paying attention to the quacking, but once I put all of these things together I essentially just feel like I'm trying to imagine he's not there and I don't care what he does. It just doesn't feel like love.