My AH is an isolator, although that was not always the case. He acted out and engaged me in several insane situations. Then I made it clear that I was done. When he realized that the marriage was kaput for me, he just isolated. To argue about our marriage would have meant there was the possibility of discussing feelings. Feelings are avoided at all costs. Expressing how he feels inside is avoided at all costs.
Thus, he quit hassling me completely.
I agree with LTD; it is a process, and I was hung up on the "acceptance" phase for quite a while. I wanted to understand why AH was behaving as he was, why he said the things he said. Then I realized that it didn't matter. I doubt AH had a clue why he was acting out. Even if he had some idea, his brain was so scrambled from the booze, it wouldn't make any sense.
For me, detaching with love meant I felt compassion for someone who had given his life over completely to alcohol to the point that he had no reality left within himself. A great deal of my anger towards him started to wane. Then I just left him in the care of God. His addiction wasn't my business. It wasn't my responsibility.