Redd...I too am new to this...however, whenever the AH goes out and is gone all night...I don't call, don't query, don't fret. I simply enjoy the house nice and quiet. I used to worry about accidents, arrests, and so on when he would disappear. Also, when he starts with his manipulation at home or says something to bait me. I look at him, but don't answer. I do not accept the invitation to the argument. Still it is difficult because it requires dedication and practice, and it is never perfect the first time around.