I personally think detachment only works if you are dealing with certain personality types (the kind of A who just isolates and drinks in the garage type). My ex **** all over most boundaries I set up and became abusive. Money stuff? He could have cared less as long as he had enough for beer but if he didn't watch out. If I tried to leave the room when he was quacking or refused to listen to him he would flip out. If I left the house to get away from him he would try to lock me out (he "borrowed" my house keys then would not give them back). If he was not the center of attention he made everyone around him lives hell. The only way to deal with someone like that is to get them out of your life IMO.