[StayinAlive]

thanks spun ya i should have put more thought into it, i basically screwed it up and it would have been better to leave it alone. I think maybe i was trying to rekindle at least some form of communication and apparently her memory's is way better than mine as far as the bad stuff. So ya in a sense my emails to her probably were minimizing"my part". I guess i really didn't realize what she had to go through and how it affected her(my depresion, anxiaty, drinking). I was always very loving and kind so i didn't understand why she had left, but understand now and was emailing her to tell her that. I just wish i never went there at all by contacting her.

not sure if that makes any sense