[sugErspun]

?
Maybe I don't understand. Were you contacting your ex to ammends harm you had caused, or to rekindle a relationship (even 'catching up' is a form of relationship - not the purpose of making ammends).

Based on the post - it seems you may have created more harm? Any ammend I make gets passed before someone else who has no attachment to it whatsoever (typically my sponsor)...It helps to have that non-biased input.

"Apologizing for my part" - May I propose that if you only have a 'part' that means the other still has a part and you have not forgiven them? The instructions clearly state we are to only look at our own mistakes - very specific things which harmed (or so we think) others. But if 'you' still played a part, and I played a part - it's not looking at what I did, it's downplaying, justifying, holding a grudge.

I know this because I had something like that on my ammends list. An ex-girlfriend I had dated for 6 years. I specifically used the word 'part' on my ammends list - I may just as well have written it in red, my sponsor spotted it in no time and made me pull the name off.

I was instructed to rewrite inventory on her. So I did. I made direct ammends for the harm I caused her - and she no longer had a part. My troubles are of MY own making...

I don't mean to come across as critical, but I guess it's the nature of a post like that. Ammends need consideration and a little bit of 'skill' - I get that 'skill' by having someone go over it with me beforehand.