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I hear you Dean, what I think I know is the perpetual noose around my neck, that's why I run with guys who are much more interested in my life than my feelings. They aren't afraid to wake me up to stuff I am completely asleep to (rarely has this experience been comfortable).
My mind tells me if it feels good it must be good, I was recently given the consideration "how did that idea play out with a bottle of booze".
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