Argh, I feel bad for the child that you were.
This is probably wrong, but I believe that you shouldn't have to have people in your life JUST BECAUSE they're family. If someone has been horrible to you, or who brings out the worst in you, or is toxic (hm, sounds like an Oprah term!) then regardless of whether or not they're family you have the right to not spend time with them.
That being said, I'm thinking of you today and wishing you well.
