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vegibean · 08-22-2008, 05:01 AM

I love the sponsor I have, she's awesome. She does all those things that a sponsor is "generally" supposed to do and she sets a great example by doing her meetings, sharing, working the steps, working the steps with me and her other sponsees, yadda, yadda, yadda, all that good stuff.

I believe we're stuck. I talked to her last night and she feels like she can't help me any more and I feel like maybe I need someone that can relate a little more to my life. She's 24, no kids, never been married, I'm 38, been married twice and have two kids. Our family back grounds are different and then there's the "amends" thing.........we don't see eye to eye on that at all.

I know there are people that I need to do amends to, I DO NOT have a long list of people but on that list is me, my two boys and then a couple of family and friends. My mom is not one of them, my sponsor thinks she should be.

My mom since I last talked to her when talking about the "past" has told me that the only person she needs to answer to is God. My mom uses, has since I was little and has done some really rotten things and she lives in THAT place. ME??? I don't think I'd be all that fair to my kids if I blew off my bad decisions and told them "well, Mom only has to answer to God" and left them to deal with their feelings and put it all on them so I don't have to be responsible or accountable. Just one example, my bong put a bong in my hands when I was 8 years old and told me to "smoke this, it'll show you what life is really like" and then it went on to other things as I got older like flirting with her husband (BS!!!!!!!) and then one of her X's hitting on me when I was 15 and telling me more BS that "well, if you weren't so nice to him......." I mean, I think she's an @ss. I don't feel like I owe that woman any amends and at the same time to keep my sanity I don't talk to her right now. I just got out of rehab and I need to get myself settled and then my boys and my relationship with them.

I guess this is a vent more than anything. I'm just looking for insight too??? Am I making sense? I know everyone is different and we all have different things on our plate but my sponsor and I just aren't on the same page any more.

Anyway, I gotta get, time to go to work. Guess I'll catch up with you all later.

Hope everyone has a great Friday, WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Then weekend is here!!!!!!!

08-22-2008, 05:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
vegibean Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: SE and then South some more Posts: 1,872	*SIGH* I need a new sponsor....... I love the sponsor I have, she's awesome. She does all those things that a sponsor is "generally" supposed to do and she sets a great example by doing her meetings, sharing, working the steps, working the steps with me and her other sponsees, yadda, yadda, yadda, all that good stuff. I believe we're stuck. I talked to her last night and she feels like she can't help me any more and I feel like maybe I need someone that can relate a little more to my life. She's 24, no kids, never been married, I'm 38, been married twice and have two kids. Our family back grounds are different and then there's the "amends" thing.........we don't see eye to eye on that at all. I know there are people that I need to do amends to, I DO NOT have a long list of people but on that list is me, my two boys and then a couple of family and friends. My mom is not one of them, my sponsor thinks she should be. My mom since I last talked to her when talking about the "past" has told me that the only person she needs to answer to is God. My mom uses, has since I was little and has done some really rotten things and she lives in THAT place. ME??? I don't think I'd be all that fair to my kids if I blew off my bad decisions and told them "well, Mom only has to answer to God" and left them to deal with their feelings and put it all on them so I don't have to be responsible or accountable. Just one example, my bong put a bong in my hands when I was 8 years old and told me to "smoke this, it'll show you what life is really like" and then it went on to other things as I got older like flirting with her husband (BS!!!!!!!) and then one of her X's hitting on me when I was 15 and telling me more BS that "well, if you weren't so nice to him......." I mean, I think she's an @ss. I don't feel like I owe that woman any amends and at the same time to keep my sanity I don't talk to her right now. I just got out of rehab and I need to get myself settled and then my boys and my relationship with them. I guess this is a vent more than anything. I'm just looking for insight too??? Am I making sense? I know everyone is different and we all have different things on our plate but my sponsor and I just aren't on the same page any more. Anyway, I gotta get, time to go to work. Guess I'll catch up with you all later. Hope everyone has a great Friday, WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Then weekend is here!!!!!!!