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I know this too well myself. Had a bout with cancer and thought my DH might take a break from medicating himself to help me out. Well, he did things to help out so that he could appear to be caring for me, but they were for show. I was in the hospital, so he'd come by after work and call first to see if I needed anything. Then he'd go home and drink himself blind. My illness was a huge excuse to drink. Sad but true. You think when you're sick, your DH will put your health at the top of their priority list, but it just doesn't happen. The opposite often happens.
Have you ever seen the documentary on the Osbournes? Amazing. Sharon Osbourne was diagnosed with cancer while they were filming their reality show. In real life, she underwent treatment and went though hell. Her daughter said her father holed himself into a room and drank and drugged himself nonstop. Then you hear Ozzy talk about his take on it. "I didn't know what I was going to do without Sharon." Allllllllways I I I I I I. Every sentence he said revolved around poor Ozzy and what would he ever do without Sharon. And Sharon said she knew she had to stay alive for Ozzy's sake. What a freaking loon. His wife had cancer and all he could think about was his potential loss. I'm sure he was conveniently unavailable for 12 months while she was puking her guts out. Nice.
Anyway, best to you. I think lowering our expectations often helps.
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