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Aysha · 08-17-2008, 08:21 PM

LIFE THOUGHTS BY DUCKY
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> Marriage changes passion.?
> Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
>

> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
> So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
>

> How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ??
>
>
> Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my "own" pants.
>
> I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
�
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> When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
>
> Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
>

> Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

> Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
>
> Wouldn't you know it....
> Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
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> Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
>

> Bumper sticker of the year:?
> 'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'
>
> And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.?

08-17-2008, 08:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
Aysha Looking For Myself...Sober Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Where the heart is Posts: 10,087 Blog Entries: 26	Life Thoughts By Ducky LIFE THOUGHTS BY DUCKY > > Marriage changes passion.? > Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. > > I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. > So I said 'Implants?' She hit me. > > How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?? > > > Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my "own" pants. > > I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! � > > When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.' > > Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. > > Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? > Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? > > Wouldn't you know it.... > Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. > > > Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside? > > Bumper sticker of the year:? > 'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier' > > And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.? __________________ Dont just count your days...Make your days count! It may not get easier, But it will get better.