I am happy to KNOW with certainty today that I am an alcoholic and that I can never drink safely again.
The following excerpt from The Big Book of AA, in the chapter called "The Doctor's Opinion", helped me to accept the reality of my alcoholism. Before acceptance, I would try to convince myself that my drinking escapades were merely a phase, or not so bad as others by comparison, etc. I was never free of the phenomenon of craving and insane living until I accepted absolutely that my chemistry is altered, permanently and progressively, when alcohol is introduced into my system.
Quote:
…..we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind.
It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we were maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, or were outright mental defectives.
These things were true to some extent, in fact, to a considerable extent with some of us.
But we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.
We believe that the action of alcohol on an alcoholic is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this type of alcoholic and never occurs in the average temperate drinker.
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Untreated, my alcoholic life WAS in fact, full flight from reality and was completely maladjusted.
There IS a solution. I found it in AA. I hope that others do, as well.