[comfortablynumb]

That Empty Feeling

The whole lesson that needs to be learned on quittig a deadly habit is a simple one: To accept the emptiness. At the very core of life, and the sum of it all, is just that.

Emptiness is what IS. Emptiness is at the center of all human experience. We smoke and drink and spend money we don't have and pine for things and people and days gone by and worship our idols to escape from it, but it's always there.

Emptiness. Nothing left to do or say. "What now?" we ask. "How do I replace what's lost?" we wonder. We quit these deadly habits because they're killing us but we secretly want to return, not so much because of the craving and the nicotine/alcohol rush but because we hate the empty feeling we have without it.

We leave abusive people and returned to them, or someone like them, for the same reason. We don't like prison ( depression, guilt, our addiction to nicotine, alcohol, sex or our low self esteem) but it's the only reality we know. To deal with emptiness is to confront our demons and see them for what they really are. Nothing at all! Emptiness is just the flow of life and reality as it really is.

Times change. Relationships end. Jobs are lost. Loved ones die. Old lifestyles change. Our children grow up. Addictions are broken. We move on. We have to. To not accept the emptiness is to stagnate. To look back is to turn to salt like Lot's wife.

The lesson to learn is to "Let it Be" as the Beatles said. To let go does indeed cause grief and suffering. We cry for awhile and time passes and things improve. We look back after a few years at what's lost, and though we still feel a pang of grief, we see that we did manage to move on despite ourselves.

Life is dynamic! Like a river it constantly moves on. We can sit at the river's edge and watch it flow while we cry, or get a canoe and jump in it for the ride. Imagine what all you'll see on the journey! "What's next?" we ask now with eager anticipation...


CN