I consider an 'amends' to be a way of amending the way I feel (guilt, sorrow?) about a prior situation and/or relationship. The way "I" feel about it, not necessarily the way someone else will feel. I don't do an amends for someone else, I do an amends for me.
I can make a 100% honest amends to ANYONE from my past by telling them honestly and earnestly that if I had the whole situation to do over again I would certainly do it differently, that I regret things happened the way they did happen, and that I am a changed person now. And I believe all of that with all of my heart & soul.
I had an old boss who was 100% a-hole, so I was 100% a-hole back. Who was right, who was wrong? Doesn't matter - I felt guilt, shame, and sorrow, even if he 'deserved' the treatment I gave him. I made an amends... no admission of right or wrong, no determining who was at fault... and I feel 100% better as a result.
For me, apologies are kind of 'bullshit', I've apologized 1,000 for the same behaviors over and over again (sound familiar
) and then went out and did them all again.
To amend a situation is to change the situation for the better, hopefully permanently.
Deep subject, I hope this helps someone.