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toad · 08-04-2008, 09:26 PM

It was only by repeated humiliations that I was forced to learn something about humility. Humility was not something that I learned as a child. Humiliation was something I learned by having the disease of alcoholism. I remember times when I would pick myself up off the floor and wonder what had happened? Did someone say "shut up" and I though they said "stand up?" One of the last acts of humiliation in my active drinking and druging was when I was sentenced to 4 years in prison (suspended sentence), 5 years probation, 10 years suspension of drivers license, 30 days in county jail, and ordered to attend AA. The judge wanted me to do big time, but I had enough cash to see me through. When the system gets big money from you it has a way of teaching humility, and they know it.

By the grace of God, they forced me to attend AA, and you know something? I loved AA anyway! I had loved AA for years, I just wasn't very good at working the steps. I hadn't had a drink in 4 months when the sentence was handed down and was attending AA anyway. The year was 1996 and I had been involved in AA (in and out) for over 30 years at that time. I knew that for an alcoholic of my type that AA was the only thing that would work. I relapsed on April 20th 1997 because of a lack of humility. I developed a resentment against some people at church that had burned up one of my guitar amps. For years I said that a resentment and anger led me back to drinking, but today I know that it was a lack of humility caused by pride. I only set out to drink one night after being clean and sober for 10 months. It took 17 months to get back around the tables of AA. I almost died out there. The humiliation of the whole 17 months and the lessons I learned have been a foundation for not wanting to go back to drinking and using.

Today if I get very far from "Humbly asking Him" for help, I will find myself on dangerous ground...........God will do for me what I cannot do for myself, I know this, it has been proven over and over in my sobriety.

Thanks for letting me share........feel free to reply........toad

08-04-2008, 09:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
toad Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: mountain grove, missouri Posts: 1,439	Humbly asked Him (Step Seven) It was only by repeated humiliations that I was forced to learn something about humility. Humility was not something that I learned as a child. Humiliation was something I learned by having the disease of alcoholism. I remember times when I would pick myself up off the floor and wonder what had happened? Did someone say "shut up" and I though they said "stand up?" One of the last acts of humiliation in my active drinking and druging was when I was sentenced to 4 years in prison (suspended sentence), 5 years probation, 10 years suspension of drivers license, 30 days in county jail, and ordered to attend AA. The judge wanted me to do big time, but I had enough cash to see me through. When the system gets big money from you it has a way of teaching humility, and they know it. By the grace of God, they forced me to attend AA, and you know something? I loved AA anyway! I had loved AA for years, I just wasn't very good at working the steps. I hadn't had a drink in 4 months when the sentence was handed down and was attending AA anyway. The year was 1996 and I had been involved in AA (in and out) for over 30 years at that time. I knew that for an alcoholic of my type that AA was the only thing that would work. I relapsed on April 20th 1997 because of a lack of humility. I developed a resentment against some people at church that had burned up one of my guitar amps. For years I said that a resentment and anger led me back to drinking, but today I know that it was a lack of humility caused by pride. I only set out to drink one night after being clean and sober for 10 months. It took 17 months to get back around the tables of AA. I almost died out there. The humiliation of the whole 17 months and the lessons I learned have been a foundation for not wanting to go back to drinking and using. Today if I get very far from "Humbly asking Him" for help, I will find myself on dangerous ground...........God will do for me what I cannot do for myself, I know this, it has been proven over and over in my sobriety. Thanks for letting me share........feel free to reply........toad __________________ "Tet Vet" Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association Patriot Guard Riders 2007 Road King Classic 96 C.I. Six-speed Vivid black "God is doing for me what I could not do for myself"