| What gives?
I've been struggling with alcoholism for about 10 years now. Drank daily for most of the past five years, with a few months of sobriety here an there.
I'm currently on day 31 of my new sobriety.
The anxiety and irritability is almost unbearable for me. I have no interest in the usual activities. Every day is a struggle to break through the boredom, find meaning, and anticipate sleep so that my mind will finally be at ease.
I'm pissed off at everything. I have rage burning deep inside me. The smallest things set me off and make me want to attack others verbally (and in my mind, physically). The last meeting I attending I ended up fantasizing about choking the guy next to me who was sharing about his long-term success.
I've tried exercise, which helps a little. I've cut all sugar and caffeine out of my diet. I attend SOS/AA meetings. I share in meetings. I surround myself with sober people and have a good job. I've been in therapy and on anti-deps in the past...which didn't make any difference.
What gives?
I would be open to anti-anxiety meds, but don't want something that is habit-forming (obviously). I've tried relaxation-breathing exercises, such as Zen meditation, and it helped a little, but now I'm too agitated to try even that.
Any new suggestions?
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