[Pajarito]

Hi CatsnDogs. . . I am separated from STBXAH, and have been for almost a year now. Wow time flies! It's taken me a while to really focus on myself, but I try to make that effort every day. Once I started doing that I realized AH was not willing to work on our marriage. I spent a lot of time trying to make it work, but one person cannot do it alone. Sadly I decided to move on. I guess my point is that you do not have to take drastic action right now. You already have in moving out. This time you have will give you perspective as well as the opportunity to work on the things you see you need to do for yourself. A year ago I had read Melody Beattie's book, and was annoyed with it. I've read it again since then and got so much more out of it. I believe things happen in the time they are supposed to. I didn't rush initiating divorce- and you don't have to initiate anything either. You are separated, living your life, enjoying yourself and working on your own recovery. I'd say that's doing something positive. Things will become more clear in time. Talking to friends and family, sharing in al-anon, reading and contributing to this forum as well as counseling have helped me immensely.