[Paulos]

Hi all, how's it going... well I went to a place today for an appointment to get me some assistance/benefits for my medical/mental health payments at my office, and am actually now switching to ANOTHER office which is good I guess... though the whole time my mother had to do a lot of the main paperwork and I was in the dark a lot of the time... though my mother said I did so good she was proud of me, yet I can never feel proud of me... I feel like I have so many weaknesses and I'm so aware of it it'll never improve... memory is still out of it, I'm losing enjoyment in the things I do actually again which I DO NOT LIKE ONE BIT, I'm severely social anxious, and I took a nap... then I woke up, EXTREMELY WORRIED and guilty about doing it and feeling like I'm just living on borrowed time until I have a big task in life ahead of me... I'm autistic btw all, been sober from booze 39 days and from Lamictal 59 days.

I know my posts may seem like a constant crying rant but ... it's just a lot of the time the world seems too scary/big for me, and I get real worried about the littlest of things, ... so imagine the big things someday :|