| Curious
Whenever I do not understand something or have a hard time with something I always research it until I understand it. Whether it be a disease, failed relationship or history, ect...
So now being new to recovery it is something I do not understand. I do not know why I have these feelings. I do not know why I am an alcoholic while others can have one occasionally. I do not know why when I walk into a restaurant the first thing I notice is the drink tent when other people do not even know it is there. I do not know if my feellings are normal.
I do not know the next step to take and I know that people here have had these questions. Lived and Breathed these questions and they are the ones that can help me.
And mostly because I want this spiritual life that everyone talks about. I see people that are happy with their lives today due to AA recovery and I want that. I want to be happy in my skin, not wishing I was everyone else.
Not wishing I was one of my happy married friends. Not wishing I wanted kids and could not figure out at 29 why I was terrified of that idea. Not wishing I was stronger and more successful. I just want to be happy with me.
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