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Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you decided to post.
It does sound like you have a lot going on and all I can say is, focus on your recovery. Try to work through the feelings and you will be able to get through this. I'm glad you're in a safe place.
__________________ Anna 
And I dont know what the future is holding in store
I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been
There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me
My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end.
John Denver
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