[nandm]

I was treated for depression several times during my 20 years of drinking. Never once did any doctor indicate that maybe I was bi-polar. Ironically during that time I worked at least two jobs and for a 6 month period I worked 2 full time and 1 part time job. I only slept in 15 minute stretches between jobs. I bought a brand new car and a house. But no doctor caught on that maybe I was a tad manic. Guess I hid it well from them.

I was 3 years sober before a doctor figured out that I was bi-polar II. I too prefer the "manic" feelings to those of the depression. I think that is because the depression is such a deep dark hole I can not see any light in. For the most part even with my meds I think I tend to run a little on the up side rather than the depression side which I am not complaining about. The depression if frightening. It is hell knowing my mind is thinking insanely but not being able to stop it, when the first thought in my head when I wake up is "put a gun to your head" but yet my logical mind is going " :wtf2 is that all about your life is good". Maybe that is why my psych doc prefers to let me run a little manic. I can deal with the insomnia when the alternative is the depression.

So I hope that my experience helps you in some way. You are definately not alone.