[jershua]

So this is my 35th day off all opiates, what a long strange trip it's been!
"sorry for the cliche", but that is the truth. spent the first two weeks in my house wandering around like a zombie and the second two at every NA meeting i could find. Some of you may ask, didn't the subutex make the w/d easier, well i abused the subutex and when it ran out i ran to get more roxy's, and not by any measure am i saying that subutex is bad, because i know for alot of people it is a life saver, but I do believe i am a serious addict. I have been coming to this site probably since the first week, but for some reason today i figured i would write my first thread, because i feel like crap, you see on my thirtieth day my best friend and fiance pretty much told me she had feeling's for someone else and it broke my heart, that day all i could think about was using, but i didn't, i called my uncle who lives 4 hours away and he came and got me because i have lost my car. So now I am in a strange place with a horrid thought that a stranger is in my house, in my bed, and in my fiance, oh and playing with my dog. I should not be thinking these things, I should be concentrating on me and my recovery, but i can't seem to get these horrible thought's out of my head. Well, i guess the good thing is i have no access to any cash or pills and know no one here, so at least i am safe. If you read this thanks. P.S. It was inspiring to see a recovering addict kick butt in the home run derby last night at Yankee field, it gave me chills!!! way to go Josh Hamilton!!!!