[toad]

For thirty years my Vietnam experiences were like wearing a stinky dirty shirt and not being able to take it off. Everywhere I went I had this aweful dirty smell about me that interupted my social life. Some guys came back from nam all right, some came back emotionaly wounded and scared. Like many others I turned to the bottle for relief. From 1974 to 1996 I was in and out of AA never honestly working the steps. I also was in and out of the VA going to rehab and treatment programs for PTSD. While doing time in 1983 I became a Christian which gave me strength, but I still could not stay clean and sober. In 1998 at what I considered to be the end of my life. Broken and beat by life's terms, I crawled back into AA for another try at life. This time I became honest and worked the steps, having been humiliated by life. I had beat my "self" up pretty good this time.

Here's the kicker............the 12 steps allowed me to get and stay sober one day at a time, and the first nine steps cleaned away some of the trash I had brought home from Vietnam and gave me relief for the first time in my life from my Vietnam experiences. As I ride on PGR missions weekly with other Vietnam vets, I see many that are not alcoholic, but could use the benefits of a thorough house cleaning for relief of the bondage of the past. I am so grateful to be alcoholic. Not only have I been able to get and stay sober through the 12 steps, but the nighmare of Vietnam has been eased considerably.

I am truly grateful.

"That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. That God could and would if He were sought." (Alcoholics Anonymous, How it works, page 60)