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Secondly, if I don't trust my current sponsor with my 4th or 5th step
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Just my opinion, but it is time to get a new sponsor!!!
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should I just let go of my current sponsor?
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IMHO ASAP
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She has gossiped about me behind my back to other women and hasn't been consistent in much that she has said. So obviously I don't trust her with my innermost emotional information and/or life history.
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This says it all, who ever you are working your 4th/5th step with if you trust her is the one you should ask to be your sponsor.
If you are constantly relapsing in my opinion you need to get step one through 3 down pat, struggling is one thing after doing steps 1-3, but relapsing is another.
Step one, if you get it, is learning that if you touch a hot stove you are going to get the heck burnt out of your hand!!!! So you are going to stop touching the hot stove and getting burnt!!!! In other words you will stop relapsing because you know you are powerless over alcohol.
I know you do not want to go back to step one, but if you are still relapsing then get a new sponsor and work on step one until you and your new sponsor agree that you get it.
I am not being mean, I am suggesting this out of love.
If you have really accepted that the hot stove is going to burn your hand
EVERY time you touch it, then you will stop touching it and be ready to beleive that a Power greater then you can restore you to sanity from the insanity that caused you to keep touching the hot stove. Once you really become willing to believe that, then you will be ready to turn your will and your life over to the
CARE of that HP. At this point and only at this point will you be ready to continue to work the steps.