[Tazman53]

Well I surrendered twice, after 30 years of drinking I began to realize that drinking was causing problems in my life so I took it upon myself to control my drinking, this was really a joke looking back on it, I would limit myself to a 6 pack a day and seeing that I was able to do this for a few days I would up it to 9 a day and have no problems so I would up it to 12 a day........ then I would be right back where I started from, 12 was not enough and I would start having problems again. SOmetimes I would decide to stop entirely for a few days up to a week and figured "I do not have a problem", so I would grab a 6 pack.... then a 12 pack...... then a case.... well once again right back to where I left off or worse.

After 5 years of the above I found myself physically addicted, I had no choice but to drink every day!!! I continued to fight it, but to no avail, I hated myself and the whole world! I was weak and could not even stop for a day or control how much I drank, this went on for 5 years...... until I surrendered to alcohol, I got so tired of fighting it I said to heck with it, I would drink all I wanted when ever I wanted........... it actually was a relief to stop fighting and just give in.

It was not to long after that when my wife told me her and the kids were moving out in a month, they had a new place lined up, my wife told me she was not going to have the children watch me kill myself drinking! I thought to myself "Cool!!! Now I can drink in the house!"

I went to the garage and sat down and drank some more..... I had a moment of clarity where I saw my life in fast forward if I did not stop drinking...... in less then a year every person and material thing would be gone and I would be left with nothing but my bottle slowly drinking myself to death.

It was at this moment that I surrendered, I knew I had to stop drinking but had no idea how............. I needed help!!!!! First I turned it over to a doctor, he told me I needed detox, I turned it over to the folks in detox and they told me I needed AA, I turned it over to AA, AA taught me that I needed a Power greater then myself, they helped me find him and I turned my drinking over to him!!!! I turned my life and my will over to his care........ I surrendered all. I became a winner by surrendering.