Cupcakes

Okay...personally,I hate making amends. Making amends suck ass.
By experince the suckiassness of making amends, I don't act out to make defects
to creat shortcoming in my life.

Why ? I was very confuse about how in the world my defects or shortcomings
would be removed. My sponsor told it was becuase I like my defects or are
comfortable with them. I get away with it..so I keep on doing it.
Just like I kept on getting high until the shiet hitted the fan.
It's still the same principle. How in world I'm i going to stop doing something
if it's still working (getting away with it)...what insentive would I have to stop
doing them ? Becuase I was standing on some moral high grounds or an angle ?
Give me a break...I'm an addict.

Why did you decided to stop getting high ?
Where you jumping for joy at that moment ? Or life sucked ass and the consiquences
were catching up with you ? It's not that complicated.

Yes, damn it , I can be a bad person, selffish, selfcenter SOB..stop the suger coating.
That's the second rated person inside of me...that small person inside of me.
The sooner I accept that and recognize it..the sooner I can better myself.
Instead of pretending I'm an angle wearing a halo and can do no wrong.
My shortcoming is not accepting this.

I'm also capiable of being as nice as Jusses Christ..that's the greater part of me.


Good load...did you think my mother was singing cumbaya to me when my bill collectors
were calling her house. She was freanken PO at me.